Saturday, December 23, 2006
He Knows When You Are Sleeping
Okay... I actually was proactive in keeping this one for history because I signed the bottom AND put the exact date on it: December 21, 1995. That means, folks, this story was written 11 years and 2 days ago AND I was only 20 years old when I did it. I have no idea just why I'm so damned dark and twisted, but I am now and was then. I honestly have no clue where the idea for a Santa Claus rapist came from, but it came... and boy did it hide in my head for a while. I mean, who the hell wants to see Santa become a vile creature? In any case, I did it.
Again, this is faithfully reproduced from the original text with only minor spacing changes since that day I typed this while manning the phones in Facilities Management in JP Morgan all those years ago. I have left all overly cumbersome sentence structure AND punctuation errors the exact same as they were back then to show you how I've actually matured in my writing. Scary huh?
Merry Christmas (or something like it)...
Pamela sat in the back of the squad car hugging her knees, rocking slowly, and crying softly. The police officers looked on in quiet sympathy as their hats held the falling snow. One of the crowd trying to make sense of this tragedy was Detective Theresa Tauder. She and her partner had arrived on the scene just after the first radio car had arrived and for the past twenty minutes she had taken in all the details with a discerning eye. The flecks of white began to grow on her auburn hair until she ran a gloved hand over the snowy cap. What a poor start to Christmas Eve.
"Pamela?" Tauder asked the pitiful creature in the back seat. When the girl didn't answer she began to speak anyway.
"I am Detective Tauder and this is my partner, Detective Maxtin" she said indicating to the only other female detective on the scene. "We'd like to help you get this man, but you'll have to help us. OK? What we need is a description of the man and anything else that seems particularly important..."
"It was him..." Pamela spoke, interrupting Tauder.
"Him who?" she asked while turning to see if anyone was lurking in the police quarantine.
"Santa Claus."
Maxtin appeared both shocked and amused at this revelation, while Tauder seemed to be choosing her words very carefully.
"By Santa Claus you mean..." Maxtin led.
"The hair, the beard, the rosy cheeks, the belly that shook like a bowl full of jelly... the whole bit." she said.
Tauder began to say something than thought better of it. She looked at her partner who quickly turned to hide the smirk that suddenly appeared on her face.
Pamela continued.
"I was sitting on the sofa watching the TV specials and I hear something from behind me. So I turn around and right in front of the fireplace was... him. He asked me if I was a good girl this year and when I didn't answer he just grinned. He walked over to me and..."
She burst into tears.
Poor girl. Tauder thought, everything always taught her that Santa Claus was a kind old man and now some psycho in a Santa suit rapes her and she'll be spending the next twenty years in therapy.
Maxtin and Tauder began to walk away when Pamela screamed out.
"He know; when you are sleeping, he knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for your own sake!"
The two detectives rode back to the precinct in relative silence. The radio sang sweet carols and that mellowed the mood a bit. The sobriety of the night was later broken by another detective placing a greeting card depicting Santa on Tauder's desk with the caption "Have you seen this man?" on the bottom. Maxtin began laughing at this and Tauder could not help but chuckle. Gathering their things, the two female detectives left the building.
Upon arriving at their condominium, the ladies exited the warmth of the car and were blasted with cold winter air and flecks of snow began melting onto their faces. Detectives Terri Maxtin and Theresa Tauder changed out of their daily clothes and re-entered the living room in their pajamas. They giggled like schoolgirls and began to throw presents at one another.
Two hours later, while Terri Maxtin was fast asleep on the couch and Theresa Tauder was fiddling with her new VCR, there was a noise upstairs. Theresa looked at her roommate and when it appeared that it didn't faze Terri in the slightest, Theresa grabbed her police issue and trotted carefully up the stairs. She reached the first landing and flicked on the light in the TV room. She gasped.
In front of the fireplace stood a man. He was about six feet tall and weighed in excess of 300 ponds. He had a thick whit beard and a mustache of the same. His thick, wavy, white hair was hidden underneath a red hat laced with white and a white ball was perched precariously on the top of the cap. He was dressed from the ankles up in the same red material laced with white fur. He had a thick black belt and his boots obviously had been shined recently. His cheeks were indeed rosy and he carried a heavy red sack over his shoulder.
"Ho, ho, ho." he said with no laughter in his eyes. "You're roommate is now sleeping, and I see that you're awake. I know that you've been bad, not good, I'm sorry for your sake."
Theresa, having forgotten about her gun, stared at this creature, mouth agape. When she managed to speak, all she could say was: "Santa?"
"Ho, ho, ho Theresa."
I am hallucinating, she thought, this is stress manifesting itself and I am in need of some serious mental help.
"Sit down Theresa. I would like to clear a few things up. I am an elf. Old... yes, jolly ...no. I live in the South Pole and I visit those who don't do what my brother recognizes as good, so I get my list, and I check it twice, but I only visit who's naughty, not nice. My name is Sartin Claus and you've been a bad girl. You were entrusted with a job to uphold the law and preserve the public trust. You took that job lightly. Hopefully my little visit will help you get on my brother's good list next year. As for this year... well, let me put it this way, you better not cry `cause Sartin Clause has a bad temper."
He began to walk towards her and she was frozen in fear.
One Year Later...
Detective Terri Maxtin left the Depleyside Home for the Mentally Insane and wondered aloud how much longer Theresa would have to suffer. It was one year ago tonight that she suffered her breakdown. She claimed that she was raped by "Sartin Claus" and even though she appeared battered, the doctors reported no signs of sexual assault. The psychiatrists reasoned that she had done this herself to "alleviate the burdens that she had subconsciously harbored over her lackadaisical attitude towards her job."
Terri shuddered from the cold. It was Christmas Eve and she was determined to enjoy herself She had left work early, simply dropping some cases and leaving them until after the holiday. It wasn't as if they expected her to do work over the holiday! She felt she deserved a break from the pitiful masses. As she started up her car, Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band were singing "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town."
Sartin Claus my ass!!
Again, this is faithfully reproduced from the original text with only minor spacing changes since that day I typed this while manning the phones in Facilities Management in JP Morgan all those years ago. I have left all overly cumbersome sentence structure AND punctuation errors the exact same as they were back then to show you how I've actually matured in my writing. Scary huh?
Merry Christmas (or something like it)...
Pamela sat in the back of the squad car hugging her knees, rocking slowly, and crying softly. The police officers looked on in quiet sympathy as their hats held the falling snow. One of the crowd trying to make sense of this tragedy was Detective Theresa Tauder. She and her partner had arrived on the scene just after the first radio car had arrived and for the past twenty minutes she had taken in all the details with a discerning eye. The flecks of white began to grow on her auburn hair until she ran a gloved hand over the snowy cap. What a poor start to Christmas Eve.
"Pamela?" Tauder asked the pitiful creature in the back seat. When the girl didn't answer she began to speak anyway.
"I am Detective Tauder and this is my partner, Detective Maxtin" she said indicating to the only other female detective on the scene. "We'd like to help you get this man, but you'll have to help us. OK? What we need is a description of the man and anything else that seems particularly important..."
"It was him..." Pamela spoke, interrupting Tauder.
"Him who?" she asked while turning to see if anyone was lurking in the police quarantine.
"Santa Claus."
Maxtin appeared both shocked and amused at this revelation, while Tauder seemed to be choosing her words very carefully.
"By Santa Claus you mean..." Maxtin led.
"The hair, the beard, the rosy cheeks, the belly that shook like a bowl full of jelly... the whole bit." she said.
Tauder began to say something than thought better of it. She looked at her partner who quickly turned to hide the smirk that suddenly appeared on her face.
Pamela continued.
"I was sitting on the sofa watching the TV specials and I hear something from behind me. So I turn around and right in front of the fireplace was... him. He asked me if I was a good girl this year and when I didn't answer he just grinned. He walked over to me and..."
She burst into tears.
Poor girl. Tauder thought, everything always taught her that Santa Claus was a kind old man and now some psycho in a Santa suit rapes her and she'll be spending the next twenty years in therapy.
Maxtin and Tauder began to walk away when Pamela screamed out.
"He know; when you are sleeping, he knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for your own sake!"
The two detectives rode back to the precinct in relative silence. The radio sang sweet carols and that mellowed the mood a bit. The sobriety of the night was later broken by another detective placing a greeting card depicting Santa on Tauder's desk with the caption "Have you seen this man?" on the bottom. Maxtin began laughing at this and Tauder could not help but chuckle. Gathering their things, the two female detectives left the building.
Upon arriving at their condominium, the ladies exited the warmth of the car and were blasted with cold winter air and flecks of snow began melting onto their faces. Detectives Terri Maxtin and Theresa Tauder changed out of their daily clothes and re-entered the living room in their pajamas. They giggled like schoolgirls and began to throw presents at one another.
Two hours later, while Terri Maxtin was fast asleep on the couch and Theresa Tauder was fiddling with her new VCR, there was a noise upstairs. Theresa looked at her roommate and when it appeared that it didn't faze Terri in the slightest, Theresa grabbed her police issue and trotted carefully up the stairs. She reached the first landing and flicked on the light in the TV room. She gasped.
In front of the fireplace stood a man. He was about six feet tall and weighed in excess of 300 ponds. He had a thick whit beard and a mustache of the same. His thick, wavy, white hair was hidden underneath a red hat laced with white and a white ball was perched precariously on the top of the cap. He was dressed from the ankles up in the same red material laced with white fur. He had a thick black belt and his boots obviously had been shined recently. His cheeks were indeed rosy and he carried a heavy red sack over his shoulder.
"Ho, ho, ho." he said with no laughter in his eyes. "You're roommate is now sleeping, and I see that you're awake. I know that you've been bad, not good, I'm sorry for your sake."
Theresa, having forgotten about her gun, stared at this creature, mouth agape. When she managed to speak, all she could say was: "Santa?"
"Ho, ho, ho Theresa."
I am hallucinating, she thought, this is stress manifesting itself and I am in need of some serious mental help.
"Sit down Theresa. I would like to clear a few things up. I am an elf. Old... yes, jolly ...no. I live in the South Pole and I visit those who don't do what my brother recognizes as good, so I get my list, and I check it twice, but I only visit who's naughty, not nice. My name is Sartin Claus and you've been a bad girl. You were entrusted with a job to uphold the law and preserve the public trust. You took that job lightly. Hopefully my little visit will help you get on my brother's good list next year. As for this year... well, let me put it this way, you better not cry `cause Sartin Clause has a bad temper."
He began to walk towards her and she was frozen in fear.
One Year Later...
Detective Terri Maxtin left the Depleyside Home for the Mentally Insane and wondered aloud how much longer Theresa would have to suffer. It was one year ago tonight that she suffered her breakdown. She claimed that she was raped by "Sartin Claus" and even though she appeared battered, the doctors reported no signs of sexual assault. The psychiatrists reasoned that she had done this herself to "alleviate the burdens that she had subconsciously harbored over her lackadaisical attitude towards her job."
Terri shuddered from the cold. It was Christmas Eve and she was determined to enjoy herself She had left work early, simply dropping some cases and leaving them until after the holiday. It wasn't as if they expected her to do work over the holiday! She felt she deserved a break from the pitiful masses. As she started up her car, Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band were singing "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town."
Sartin Claus my ass!!
